Jumbled thoughts

I feel I should write something - let's see what happens...

I just found out that MCC has decided not to hire me for next season. I kinda saw it coming since some of my friends found out about their own statuses weeks ago, but it still stung to hear it officially.

Since I'm such a sentimental guy, I'm reflecting on my Montana experience with more than the usual nostalgia. The thought creeps up on me that I may never see some of those places/faces again. I'll miss walking a few blocks to the coffeeshops for internet, my sparsely decorated apartment, the cultural atmosphere of Bozeman, walking to and from Hasting's for movies/tv shows... ah... the clarity of the air matched only by the clarity of purpose: Clear this trail, close that trail, take out these weeds, remove these trees.

Somehow, moving 2000 miles to a place where I'd never been.. to live with people I'd never met... doing work I'd never done... at heights I'd never reached... in weather I'd never experienced... somehow, that was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I could hardly cook anything, and now I can fix breakfast outside. I'd never heard of a McLeod, but now I know how to use one to clear a trail. If I can climb mountains with East Coast lungs and befriend folks from various walks of life; if I can sleep on the ground, rise with the sun, work in the rain, bathe in a stream and even perform Poe by the fire; if I can carry 50 pounds on my back for two miles, then I can do anything. It's no longer a trite "inspirational" phrase to me; I genuinely believe I can do anything.

Now, time to impose my will on the next mountain: Finding a job.

Thoughts from Starbucks

I wrote this a few days ago in Starbucks, which I tried out because I'm searching for my new home for productive internet use. I have access at home, but I never seem to do what I need to do when I'm there; hence the search. Enjoy the spatterings of thought...

I never thought I’d breathe a sigh of relief after entering a Starbucks, but here I am, finding comfort with that green-circled goddess.

December 7, 2009: I officially am sick of living at home. I miss the unhurried streets of downtown Bozeman, the locally owned stores, the proximity of everything to everything else, the free bus system… Even more than these, though, I miss buying my own groceries and knowing exactly what’s in the cupboard, a comfortable place to relax, uncrowded by trivial possessions like beds and dressers and an overabundance of clothes. A place I can call my own. A place, in essence, to call Home.

If home is where the heart is, then my Home isn’t where I grew up; it’s somewhere in the wooded Appalachians or, dare I say it, out among the Rockies. At least, in the present time. For a while, my home was in the past with my college friends, 2002-2005. I’ve moved far enough now that my home is in the future. It’s still not Now. Fortunately, that means I can look forward to coming Home, instead of always missing it.

And so it seems Starbucks won’t let me use their internet unless I have a member card. *gag* I think my REI card would kick it out. Well, fair enough. I was just starting to like the place – cheaper prices than my usual stop in Bozeman – but now I have an excuse to dislike them again, along with the traditional bleeding-heart objections.

Just spotted a girl across the shop and thought, “Hey, she’s kinda cute.” Then I realized she was with her mother working on calculus. Ruh-roh…

I realized today that my hair style is straight out of the ‘80s. Need to fix that.

Google Chrome is the bomb.com.

Shorter non-sequitur.

Even shorter.

Shortest!

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So that's that. There's always more to add, but rarely time/will to add it. And yet I think I'll be posting more often. No promises, though.