Internet addiction is hard to break

Hi, boys and girls! There's nothing like being on the internet! I thought I'd have access at my apartment, but there was a miscommunication between my roommate and his chosen internet provider, and then things got busy, and now I'm at a coffeeshop trying to post a bajillion things while talking to people and clearing out my inbox and acting on various causes and learning what's happening in the world and now I can't post the 100 photos I've already selected and written captions for and jiminy christmas I still have to buy groceries and do some prep work for tomorrow's meeting along with plan out what I want to do while I'm here and take care of some loose ends back in Winston-Salem and stay in touch with my friends and... and...

*collapse*

*deep breath*

*reboot*

I'm really enjoying my time out here - and I'm not being sarcastic; this trip has been great so far. Here are a couple of things I've written offline; first, from Monday, May 25:

Greetings from Bozeman!

After the usual frenzied packing on Saturday, I boarded a flight to Denver Sunday morning, enjoyed a leisurely four-hour layover in the Mile-High City, then endured a two-hour delay waiting for my flight to Bozeman. On the plus side, I ate my first meal from Panda Express – rather tasty – and discovered the fabulous photographs of Tom Mengelsen. His images of wildlife and landscapes stopped me in my tracks, and I couldn’t leave the store until I had seen every last one.

My room is a glorious mess without any furniture, and I can’t really justify getting anything for it since I’ll have to sell it in six months. Nothing like looking at a room and saying, “Wow, what this place needs is…” and then realizing that in six months that place will need emptying. L Oh well. I’ll only be living in the apartment for two of the six months, in one sense. In case I hadn’t told you earlier, I’ll be out working in the wilderness for 8-10 days at a time, followed by 3-5 days off in Bozeman, so I’ll be spending about one day off for every two days on. Oh, and my new roommate and I seem to get along all right, which is a relief. I’m definitely looking forward to making new friends and getting familiar with this town.

Well, that’s about it for now. Tomorrow morning I head out for training and orientation, getting back sometime Thursday and finding out who are the other four members of my mini-crew along with my crew leaders and our general location/focus for our time here. After that, it’s off to the races! I’ll be sure to keep this thing updated as best I can, along with pictures on facebook.

Until next time, valete!

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And now, from last weekend:

The training this week was great, featuring CPR and first aid, plus making some new friends. I found out who my crewmates are and what my schedule will be like yesterday, and I think it should be a great five months. We'll kick things off Monday when we head out to Yellowstone for some chainsaw training- yeah, that's right, I'm learning chainsaw skills from the fire crew at THE National Park. What up. Bring it.

Once I upgrade from n00b to bamf on the saw, I'll be traveling all over Montana hacking away at invasive species and clearing trails, pulling weeds and dodging bears with two extra trips into Yellowstone to help protect the historic buildings from wildfires and collect seeds. It's nice to know I'll be in bear country pretty much the whole time – one week I’ll even be hanging with the grizzlies. This trip is gonna be awesome.

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So, there you have it. Chainsaw training went well - we even saw a long bison 200 yards from where we were working - and I successfully used my new tent on the first try! And that was with rain, which mixed with snow early Tuesday morning! Work starts for real on Monday morning, when we'll head out to a youth camp for five days to clean it up for the summer kids.

Perhaps tomorrow I'll have better luck with the pictures... sigh.

If I walked to Montana...

Just a little fun fact I found: To walk from my apartment to the Montana Conservation Corps office in Bozeman, Google Maps suggests a route of 2,040 miles consisting of 562 turns, and it recommends a travel time of 27 days, 18 hours (dunno if that allows for sleeping). This route goes right by Chicago Mercy Hospital and Lake Michigan... and right through the South Side. *gulp* Too bad you can't click a button that says, "I'm a skinny pasty guy carrying all my possessions on my back."

As a side note, I've been hiking/weightlifting/running for the last week, and I'm already more fit than I've been in three years. I should go to Montana more often.

Big change... *gulp*

I'M GOING TO MONTANA WITH AMERICORPS FOR FIVE MONTHS!!! I START THREE WEEKS FROM TODAY!!!

Holy crap. After weeks of puttering away at my application, I finally had a phone interview with and was later hired by Montana Conservation Corps to do conservation work, help with research, restore natural habitats, and other awesome stuff. I'll be based in Bozeman, about an hour north of Yellowstone. From there, I'll head out with a small crew for about 10 days at a time, camp in the wilderness while working, then return to the metropolis of 30K people for four days to recharge. Repeat for five months.

Awesome. Now I have a reason to lift weights before going, because I'll be lugging around 50 pounds or more of equipment/supplies a good chunk of the time. Regardless of weather. O_o Speaking of which, I'll be hitting up the local parks these next couple of weeks (starting tomorrow morning) to build up my endurance.

I'm so psyched, exclamation points fail to convey my excitement.

Not only do I love the chance to do something new (hey, that's the name of this blog), but I have a glimmer of hope, something I lacked just three short months ago. Instead of banging my head against the brick walls of Wake, I can hurl my body into the elements for the sake of nature. Whee!!! Plus, I'd like to parlay this experience into a job/career of service, which would thrill me to no end.

Then there are the photo opportunities I'm hoping to find, though I don't know how much I'll be able to post while there.

So there you have it. I'll be running around with my hair on fire for the next three weeks, but honestly, I can't wait to get started. This chance, this change comes not a moment too soon. What stinks is that I'll have to leave all the friends I've made this semester and socially start from scratch. I guess I'll have to try keeping in touch as best I can. And yet, my gut tells me I can't stay around Wake much more, using it as a source of company. I just realized that a two whole classes of Latin majors have declared and graduated in the period since my last Latin class in the fall of 2005. Kinda crazy. All that to say, I need to stop clinging to Wake and make a new life for myself.

Here goes...

Unrelated events

I'm feeling low-key and reflective - well, more than usual, anyway - so here's a smattering of what's going on in my life.

On Sunday night/Monday morning we had a good bit of snow in Winston, which was fun to watch but not fun to drive in. I've driven in snow before, but somehow I managed to spin out on a highway ramp and do some significant damage to the rear driver's side. So now I have to deal with the crap of fixing it and all the joys that accompany responsibility: Find a place to get it fixed, the estimation, the rental car.... ugh.

Yesterday I was out taking care of the aforementioned crap when I saw a graveyard and went in on a whim. It was wonderful and peaceful: walking along in the midst of memories I'll never know. All the stories that lie in the dash between "Born on" and "Died on" - it's overwhelming and absorbing. Many stories are straightforward: So-and-so fought in Korea, married, had a child, died. This woman lived for 20 years after her husband died; that man survived a war but died soon after; and on the stories go. Sifting through Death's collection, though, it doesn't take long to find a story that prompts a question or reflection. There's the mother buried beside her then-six-year-old daughter who died in the same year... probably a car crash claimed both. There's the man who likely bought his thirtysomething younger brother a plot next to his own; the 22-year-old with an image of a VW bug on his gravestone; the woman with ceramic cats on hers.

Of course, it's hard to visit a graveyard without thinking of your own mortality. While most of the dead spent at least 60 years above the ground, others had their time cut short at 44, 37, 24, even 18. I've lived longer than the last two listed, and every breath seems to remind me that the next one isn't guaranteed. I recently told my counselor that not too long ago I saw death as a possible escape from life; now it scares me more than anything. I can't bear the thought of ending my story right now; I need to emerge from this mire first!

So, it's off to deal with the mire. I hope your respective "dashes" are going along well - just don't dash through them too fast!

I <3 hiking.

You folks out there must be thinking, "What? Three posts in a single calendar month? Someone get a hold of this man and throw him in the looney bin, because that's not the Matt Barham I know!" What can I say - I'm living dangerously these days.

...which would explain why I have multiple cuts on my hands and legs of jello... but yet I couldn't feel better!

Let me back up. When I realized I'd have some extra time on my hands this week, I thought I'd go hiking around Pilot Mountain but didn't get around to it until this morning. And let me tell you, this was the worst job of preparation I've ever done for a hike: I failed to check the weather, which meant I didn't bring my hat or an appropriate rain coat, so of course it rained on me. Then I somehow brought three pairs of uncharged batteries for my camera, so I have exactly zero pictures to show for my efforts, plus my cell phone died on the way up. But I soldiered on despite these disappointing revelations, and proceeded to have a blast. The biggest surprise of the day came when I found a group of hundreds of ladybugs, just chillin' out in the rocks like it was the most natural thing in the world. I dunno about you, but a mountain in 50-degree weather is not where I'd go if I were a ladybug. Not that I often daydream about being a ladybug...

It was nice being out in the rain because, even though I got soaking wet by the end of the morning, nobody else was around. This meant I could have humorous conversations with myself and not worry about weird looks from other hikers, plus I could have a little fun striking poses on the tops of outcroppings and singing goofy renditions of "Climb Ev'ry Mountain." The biggest downside to the rain and fog (besides the obvious) was that I managed to get lost for about 15 minutes because I couldn't find the trail down. Since I was climbing around the knob, which is a circular formation, I figured I'd eventually find the trail back and be on my way. Unfortunately, I missed the trail and didn't know it until I started seeing some familiar formations and trees, at which point I had to backtrack, second-guessing myself every step of the way and unable to re-orient myself because I couldn't see the sun or anything else over 50 feet away. Oh well, I found my way back.

All in all, a good day. Now if I just had some pictures...

Music

I've always thought of myself as someone with eclectic music preferences, but my library mostly consists of classical pieces and movie soundtracks, making my claim of eclecticity dubious at best. But I dug out my Christmas present of music download gift cards, and now I can legitimately claim to like most anything. Here are my selections from last night:

Lose Yourself (from 8Mile)
Eminem
YMCA
Village People
Rock And Roll
Led Zeppelin
You Know My Name (from Casino Royale)
Chris Cornell
My Girl
The Temptations
You've Got A Friend In Me (from Toy Story) Randy Newman
Mad World (from Donnie Darko)
Michael Andrews
Take On Me
a-ha
Flying Theme (from E.T.)
Boston Pops

So there you have it. Rap, oldies, classic rock, 80's synth pop, depressing, uplifting, feel good and contemporary rock, all here. Oh, and YMCA.

Just something light to share with everyone.

Boldness and Control

Just something on my mind as the evening winds down...

Why is the boldest course of action the easiest to envision but the hardest to enact? It's easy enough to think about dropping everything and running off to travel the world, or volunteering for some relief/aid agency in a remote corner of the globe, or telling someone what I really think/feel about him/her, but no, I stay in safety. I tolerate the annoying customer, I smile at the jerk and treat with mere friendliness the girl I want to ask out; I remain with my job, my apartment, my shell.

Is it better to stay this way? I do take pride in my ability to approach most things diplomatically, to rationally examine alternate and opposing thoughts or actions and determine the merits and disadvantages of each. Yet sometimes I feel shackled to civility. Most of the time I'm Spock, and that's fine; I just wanna be Kirk on occasion. I guess it boils down to a desire to express myself honestly to the rest of the world. Perhaps I should maintain the Vulcan commitment to logic and emotional control when I'm talking politics or making decisions and open up more when dealing with matters of the heart.

Well, I suppose that's it for now. I hope to write more often in 2009, so stay tuned!