Thoughts leaking from my mind

After five months, I just have so many things to say and no time to say them! Or rather, I opt not to say them and choose other activities.

First among these distractions is... my girlfriend! I can't possibly describe how awesome she is, but I'll say this: we met while contra dancing in March (a clue to her high level of coolness), and since then our relationship has been a continuous high. She's smart, she's funny, she's beautiful, and amazingly enough, she somehow has the grace to put up with me!

There's been the illness and death of my great-aunt, which has taught me many things... and someday, I'll write them out. The best part of that ordeal, though, has been that my 91-year-old great-uncle has moved up from Atlanta to Cary, so I see him twice a week now! Since he's the closest thing I have to a grandparent, I cherish our time together.

Alongside death and old age, I've seen new life emerge - two of my childhood friends who married have just given birth to their firstborn, and my step-brother is currently visiting with his wife and nine-month-old son. Then there are the lives merging in marriages - three since late March! It moves me every time to see two people I know commit to a life together.

But that's not why I started writing. Nor do I wish to take up politics, even though I could pontificate on The Spill, Big Business/Capitalism, Markets, Health Care, or something else. No, just a thought I'd like to throw out into cyberspace:

If hindsight is 20/20, I want to look at life from that perspective. That is, I want to see the future as if it were the past. I know Kierkegaard pretty much said the same thing: "Life can only be understood backwards," but I want to see my life laid out from my funeral to the present so I can gain the best view. Impossible, of course, but I can still simulate this by imagining various funerals, then charting a course to get to those funerals I want. Now there's an odd thought: How do I get to my funeral? What stops do I want to make on my way there? Are there places I want to avoid? Because when I ascend the last hill, I want to roar with delight and triumph as I survey my road. Come to think of it, I want that final roar more than anything else in the world, because in it lies Contentment. I don't mean to suggest that I'm not happy at present; I'm just afraid I won't get to do what I want before my time is up.

I suppose that's it for now. You know, I really enjoyed this post. I ought to do this more often...